Well, the roller coaster of life continues and I have wanted so many times to share more of my journey but sometimes it feels like I just can't get out of the loop d loop. First I want to thank everyone for their wonderful and uplifting words of support. Your comments and encouragement have really carried me through some rough patches. I'm not gonna lie - this weight loss thing is HARD. I may even go as far as to say it sucks ! That is how I felt through the 2 weeks after my first post !
My first goal of 239 lbs has eluded me each and every time I started a new weight loss plan. Believe me there has been so many I cant even count them ! I would plateau at 240 for weeks and then give up and then gain it all and then some back. So- I set my first goal at you guessed it - - - 239 again !!!
Crazy girl you may say ? I say a fear that needed to be confronted and tackled at full speed!
( sorry - Mason just started football !)
Then there was an unexpected trip to Ohio in week 3 to visit Dustin's Grandmother. I was just starting to get into a routine and trying to make the right decisions with food - which I was taking 1 minute at a time at this point. Then I had to pack the family and travel for 8 hours and stay with my in -laws for a week and travel 8 hours back. Oh my - I thought - I am so not ready for a trip right now. Usually when we make this trip I come back way heavier and I was sad to think that all that work I had done was going to be undone. I always tried not to have that happen but I would always start out strong and then one discrepency and I would think - why bother - I already messed up and I would end up back in the vicious circle I have found myself in for over 15 years.
Well I am happy to say that is not what happened this time!!!!
The last blog on 7/25/11 my weigh in was 244 and NOW as of 8/19/11 ........
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< 235 >>>>>>>>>>>>>To date I have lost 30 lbs and I blew my first goal right out of the water ! Me ! I did that ! This time I feel so different and this journey feels like none I have ever been on before. Please keep praying for me and encouraging me. Even though the food decisions have become a little easier and I dont miss most of the bad things - I am dealing with other issues. Oh here is the honesty/ embarressing part of my journey again - but total honesty and transparency has paid off so far. ( and if you are still reading this and sticking with me then I owe it to you also !! ) I am a large girl - that is no secret to anyone that has seen me. I have lost 30 lbs - - - 30 lbs ---- but it is hard to really tell that I have lost anything. That is soo frustrating !! Frustrating to the point of tears. It is a constant reminder of how much farther I have and seems so out of reach. I get very discouraged. I feel like my body will never transform no matter how much weight I lose. It is all so exhausting - mentally and physically. I am holding onto the little differences I see - right now - it is my ankles and my shins ! Also my wedding and engagement rings fit better than they did the day I got married !
My next goal is 10 lbs. That will put me at 225 and 40 lbs total lost. Please pray for my success and sanity thru this process. I know it is gonna start to get harder and harder to lose weight as I go along. That is a scary prospect but I am willing to work harder to lose it. Thank you all for caring about me enough to stick with me. I am not going to let myself down and I am not going to let you all down either. Im getting back in line for this roller coaster and I hope you will ride along with me again too !!!!!
It might NOT get harder - I know for me, at first, when you start exercising and putting your body through the paces you're exhausted. But then, instead of being exhausted after a workout you realize you have MORE energy and all of a sudden you want to play tag with the kids or go for a quick walk with them (or clean the house). There IS light at the end of the tunnel but it's not something that has a finish line - there are goals to meet but once you get there you still have to keep making the smart choices every day. And you are. And you will. And I'll hold your hand if you need me to.
ReplyDeleteKudos for not beating yourself up when you slip a bit - everyone (and I do mean EVERYONE) does. You can do this...in style! I already have your next reward picked out...GO! GO! GO!
Congratulations to you on your success! You've set your goals at a reasonable and definitely attainable level. I am struggling with the weight yo-yo all of the time. I had an incident in my life that put me over the 200 lb mark and I have not been able to get under it in 6 years. I put on almost 60 lbs in 6 weeks (part was medication and the other part was severe depression). I don't blame anyone or anything for my lack of discipline to get the weight off. It went on easy, but the hard part is getting it off. Many can tell you not to get frustrated, but I think that the frustration, if handled in a different way, can be motivating. "I'm NOT going to let this happen again..." I'm a spectator and a cheerleader for you, but it's a whole lot easier for me to give you encouragement when you are doing the hard part. You are a beautiful person inside and out...but, the way that you feel about yourself is what's most important. You will succeed. I have faith! You have the drive, will and support of friends and family. Stay on track! You're doing an amazing job! <3
ReplyDeleteGreat job Justine! It is so hard to keep up healthy habits while you are away from home! Yay for you!! One thought, who do you have at home to work out with and/or train with? I would encourage you to find (if you don't already have one!) an exercise buddy or two to help keep you going. I have a great friend from MA who lost an incredible amount of weight and is now not only looks completely different but is a regular triathlete! She is amazing, but I know she would say she could not have done it without a group of women from her local Y who agreed to start out together. My mom is also someone who has always struggled and she is finding a TON of help and support right now from OA. She wishes she'd found it years ago! Blessings to you as you remain steadfast and determined in this journey! You can do it!!
ReplyDeleteI am SOOO excited for you Justine! 30 pounds is awesome!!!! You should be very proud. I can't wait to celebrate the next 10. I know you will do it!!!!
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