Well, the roller coaster of life continues and I have wanted so many times to share more of my journey but sometimes it feels like I just can't get out of the loop d loop. First I want to thank everyone for their wonderful and uplifting words of support. Your comments and encouragement have really carried me through some rough patches. I'm not gonna lie - this weight loss thing is HARD. I may even go as far as to say it sucks ! That is how I felt through the 2 weeks after my first post !
My first goal of 239 lbs has eluded me each and every time I started a new weight loss plan. Believe me there has been so many I cant even count them ! I would plateau at 240 for weeks and then give up and then gain it all and then some back. So- I set my first goal at you guessed it - - - 239 again !!!
Crazy girl you may say ? I say a fear that needed to be confronted and tackled at full speed!
( sorry - Mason just started football !)
Then there was an unexpected trip to Ohio in week 3 to visit Dustin's Grandmother. I was just starting to get into a routine and trying to make the right decisions with food - which I was taking 1 minute at a time at this point. Then I had to pack the family and travel for 8 hours and stay with my in -laws for a week and travel 8 hours back. Oh my - I thought - I am so not ready for a trip right now. Usually when we make this trip I come back way heavier and I was sad to think that all that work I had done was going to be undone. I always tried not to have that happen but I would always start out strong and then one discrepency and I would think - why bother - I already messed up and I would end up back in the vicious circle I have found myself in for over 15 years.
Well I am happy to say that is not what happened this time!!!!
The last blog on 7/25/11 my weigh in was 244 and NOW as of 8/19/11 ........
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< 235 >>>>>>>>>>>>>To date I have lost 30 lbs and I blew my first goal right out of the water ! Me ! I did that ! This time I feel so different and this journey feels like none I have ever been on before. Please keep praying for me and encouraging me. Even though the food decisions have become a little easier and I dont miss most of the bad things - I am dealing with other issues. Oh here is the honesty/ embarressing part of my journey again - but total honesty and transparency has paid off so far. ( and if you are still reading this and sticking with me then I owe it to you also !! ) I am a large girl - that is no secret to anyone that has seen me. I have lost 30 lbs - - - 30 lbs ---- but it is hard to really tell that I have lost anything. That is soo frustrating !! Frustrating to the point of tears. It is a constant reminder of how much farther I have and seems so out of reach. I get very discouraged. I feel like my body will never transform no matter how much weight I lose. It is all so exhausting - mentally and physically. I am holding onto the little differences I see - right now - it is my ankles and my shins ! Also my wedding and engagement rings fit better than they did the day I got married !
My next goal is 10 lbs. That will put me at 225 and 40 lbs total lost. Please pray for my success and sanity thru this process. I know it is gonna start to get harder and harder to lose weight as I go along. That is a scary prospect but I am willing to work harder to lose it. Thank you all for caring about me enough to stick with me. I am not going to let myself down and I am not going to let you all down either. Im getting back in line for this roller coaster and I hope you will ride along with me again too !!!!!