The Weight Loss Journey Continues...

Well, the roller coaster of life continues and I have wanted so many times to share more of my journey but sometimes it feels like I just can't get out of the loop d loop.  First I want to thank everyone for their wonderful and uplifting words of support.  Your comments and encouragement have really carried me through some rough patches.  I'm not gonna lie - this weight loss thing is HARD.  I may even go as far as to say it sucks !  That is how I felt through the 2 weeks after my first post ! 

My first goal of 239 lbs has eluded me each and every time I started a new weight loss plan.  Believe me there has been so many I cant even count them !  I would plateau at 240 for weeks and then give up and then gain it all and then some back. So- I set my first goal at you guessed it  - - - 239 again !!!
Crazy girl you may say ?  I say a fear that needed to be confronted and tackled at full speed!
( sorry - Mason just started football !)  

Then there was an unexpected trip to Ohio in week 3 to visit Dustin's Grandmother.  I was just starting to get into a routine and trying to make the right decisions with food - which I was taking 1 minute at a time at this point.  Then I had to pack the family and travel for 8 hours and stay with my in -laws for a week and travel 8 hours back.  Oh my - I thought - I am so not ready for a trip right now.  Usually when we make this trip I come back way heavier and I was sad to think that all that work I had done was going to be undone.  I always tried not to have that happen but I would always start out strong and then one discrepency and I would think - why bother - I already messed up and I would end up back in the vicious circle I have found myself in for over 15 years. 

Well I am happy to say that is not what happened this time!!!! 
The last blog on 7/25/11 my weigh in was 244 and NOW as of 8/19/11  ........
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<   235  >>>>>>>>>>>>>To date I have lost 30 lbs and I blew my first goal right out of the water !  Me ! I did that !  This time I feel so different and this journey feels like none I have ever been on before.  Please keep praying for me and encouraging me.  Even though the food decisions have become a little easier and I dont miss most of the bad things - I am dealing with other issues.  Oh here is the honesty/ embarressing part of my journey again - but total honesty and transparency has paid off so far. ( and if you are still reading this and sticking with me then I owe it to you also !! )   I am a large girl - that is no secret to anyone that has seen me.  I have lost 30 lbs - - -   30 lbs ---- but it is hard to really tell that I have lost anything.  That is soo frustrating !! Frustrating to the point of tears.  It is a constant reminder of how much farther I have and seems so out of reach.  I get very discouraged.  I feel like my body will never transform no matter how much weight I lose.  It is all so exhausting - mentally and physically.  I am holding onto the little differences I see - right now -  it is  my ankles and my shins !  Also my wedding and engagement rings fit better than they did the day I got married !

My next goal is 10 lbs.  That will put me at 225 and 40 lbs total lost. Please pray for my success and sanity thru this process.  I know it is gonna start to get harder and harder to lose weight as I go along. That is a scary prospect but I am willing to work harder to lose it.  Thank you all for caring about me enough to stick with me.  I am not going to let myself down and I am not going to let you all down either.   Im getting back in line for this roller coaster and I hope you will ride along with me again too !!!!!  

And so it begins....

First time blogging ........lifetime of trying not to be fat.
I am sharing this journey with God, family, friends and anyone that would like to ride this roller coaster with me! I'm trying to lose weight without losing my mind! I know I will need lots of encouragement and support -so please stay with me thru this transformation and be honest with me every step of the way.
These are a couple of pics I have allowed to remain undeleted.  With the digital age -most are gone immediately after they are taken.  It is as though I don't exist within my own life.  I am ready to change that.......I am ready to allow myself to live ....I believe I am worth it.

I started this journey at 265 pounds.  This is something that I would NEVER tell anyone. Now I am 3 weeks into it and as of this morning 7/25/11 ........I weigh 244 lbs.  I am so embarrassed by putting this out there but honesty to myself is one of the changes I am incorporating into my transformation - so there it is.  It is what it is.
Much more to come .......